A light-hearted look at a Leader’s Job Description!

POSITION: Guiding Leader

JOB DESCRIPTION: Long-term team players needed for challenging permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and sometimes 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy and/or snowy weekends. Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES: Must be willing to be temporarily disliked at times or at least until the next fun activity. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the other end of the room are not someone just crying wolf.

Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable until the time comes to move on. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million “things” made from funky foam, wood, string, wiggly eyes, feathers, glue and such like. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and caretaking work throughout the facility.

HOURS OF WORK: Variable – ranges from 1.5 hours per week to every available waking moment.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT AND PROMOTION: Your job as a Unit Leader will be to remain in the same position for years, dealing with individuals of different ages at different times, without complaining, but constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: None required. On-the-job training offered on a continual exciting basis. Training sessions also available, to be taken with a wide variety of people in exactly the same position you are.

OTHER QUALIFICATIONS – must have a dining room table to give to Guiding, as well as bookcases and a garage, infact space for boxes, craft supplies, camp supplies, and other paraphernalia.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION: Money-wise – none. This is however offset by smiles, hugs and tears, either your own or those of the people in your charge.

BENEFITS: While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs and friends for life if you play your cards right.